Anxiety tends to get reduced to a lot of simple explanations. You’re just a highly-strung worrier who needs to learn to relax. And so you try the breathing exercises and the meditation apps. You go on long nature walks and try to connect with your “zen-ness”. You learned some downward dog, recited the positive affirmations into the mirror, and may have even resorted to humming “OHMMMMMMM” on occasion, but none of it sticks because the anxiety isn’t coming from your thoughts and it’s not “just the way you are”. It’s coming from somewhere much deeper.
Most people who come to us have been living with anxiety for so long they’ve forgotten what it feels like to not be bracing for something. It’s become the background noise of their life and they’ve built everything around it without realizing just how much space it takes up.
At Centered by the Sea, we’re interested in why your system learned to be on guard in the first place. Only once you understand that, can we work towards changing it.
How Anxiety Shows Up
Sometimes it’s the obvious version, the racing thudding heart and 3am doom spiral of thoughts. But just as often it’s subtler than that.
It’s the way you rehearse conversations in your head before you have them so you can have different replies ready to go “just in case”. Or the way you need to know every detail of a plan before you can take action. It’s lying awake running through everything that could go wrong tomorrow and trying to plan and counter-plan around it while knowing that none of it is likely to happen but being completely unable to stop and go to sleep.
For some people anxiety shows up as control.
Every detail of your life is micro-managed and every possible outcome of every situation is anticipated because the alternative of not knowing something feels unbearable.
For other people, the unpredictability of the world around them is just too much.
You stop saying yes to things and start shrinking your world so there are fewer situations that can trigger the feeling.
It can show up physically too.
Jaw clenching, toothache, stomach problems, headaches, and muscle tension you’ve carried so long you don’t even register it anymore. A lot of people see their doctor about the physical symptoms for years before anyone connects them to underlying anxiety.
What’s Underneath
Anxiety is a protective mechanism which might sound strange when it feels like it’s ruining your life, but your nervous system developed this response because at some point it needed to.
Something in your early environment taught your body that the world required vigilance. Maybe it was a home where emotions were unpredictable or a parent whose mood set the tone for the whole household so you unconsciously started to scan for danger before you could even name what you were doing.
That early wiring doesn’t switch off just because your circumstances have changed. Your nervous system doesn’t care that you’re an adult now with a stable job and a good relationship. It’s still operating from the old program. The anxiety you’re experiencing now is your body running software it installed a long time ago because it didn’t feel safe.
Understanding this changes everything about how you approach treatment. Instead of fighting your nervous system with willpower or positive thinking which is like dropping a bucket of water on a blazing wildfire, you learn to work with it and retrain it for your current circumstances.
Our Approach
We work with anxiety on two levels. We address what's happening right now in your body and your day-to-day life, and we explore where the pattern started so it doesn't keep you stuck.
On the surface level, we help you understand what your nervous system is doing and why, and we work on practical ways to regulate when the anxiety is running high. Not in a "just breathe" kind of way but in a way that respects how deeply wired this response is.
On a deeper level, we look at what your anxiety was originally built to manage. When you understand the function it serves, the way you relate to your own anxiety shifts. That alone can change how you experience it day to day.
You've Been Treading Water For Too Long
You've been white-knuckling your way through this for long enough. If the coping strategies have stopped working and you're tired of building your whole life around managing a feeling, reach out to Centered by the Sea.
We know anxiety well and we know how to help you manage it.
Reach Out
Call us 516-123-4568, email hello@centeredbythesea.com, or fill out the contact form and tell us what's going on.
Find Your Fit
We'll check your insurance and match you with the right therapist for what you need.
Start the Work
Meet your therapist in person at our Long Beach office or online from wherever you are.